Welcome to the home of the Chase Brothers!
A word of explanation is probably in order here... ahem
This page was thought to be lost forever, a bit of a myth if you will. However, in a miraculous act the original was discovered sitting on a remote, dusty sector of an ancient hard drive, deep in the bowels of the Wayback Machine. It is restored here in its full and original glory, in TechniColor.
What follows is a spoof of a few different things:
The Blues Brothers (obviously)
Some hare-brained idea that someone proposed to stop tornadoes with fuel-air bombs
From the minds of Steve Miller and Glenn Dixon, written under the intense agonies of SDS back in 1997-1999.
From their biography, A Season Full of Busts
Cape had a vision. It was his, the only real one he'd ever had, and he clung to it. There had been too many chase busts with only some fluffy cloud photos and a case of SDS to show for it. Childress Cape had always been full of schemes. But this was different; it played across his tiled cell wall 24 hours a day. And the ending was always the same - Cape and his younger brother Elniño cruising out of Wichita Falls, Texas, with the sun in their shades and a full tank of gas. He absentmindedly rubbed his Buddha belly; even on a diet of Allsup's burritos and Chesterfields, Cape had gained weight. Someday they'd have a job in Norman... drive around with antennas and laptops. It was out there for the taking and Cape could smell it like nitrogen in damp air.
It had always been the chase. Even back in the Abilene orphanage (that sweaty kid factory with the black windows) Cape and Elniño were saved by the storms. Actually, saved by a gray-haired janitor everybody called Curtis. He wore these sinister midnight shades, a narrow black tie and a porkpie hat the he kept pushed back on his head. Curtis wrapped his waxy brown hands around his meteorology textbook and read the most sinister damage reports this side of Gilbert Sebenste. The nuns scorched their days with holy threats and Curtis rescued them by night. Down in the coolness of his basement he taught the brothers how to read the weather statements.
Silent Elniño never did put more than two sentences together, but all those lost words burned from NOAA weather radio. And Childress tore that desire to chase from some hidden darkness, snarling at the heavens, a born chaser. They used the basement because it was secret and because the darkness gave them a nice light show with each storm. And then one night, Cape brought in a gleaming sling psychrometer he said came from Chuck Doswell. He held it tight and as it glowed in the bulb light, Cape sliced Elniño's middle finger and then his own. Now the solo boys with weather in their blood were brothers. Cape and Elniño Chase... the Chase Brothers.
When Cape could keep himself outside the SDS Treatment Center, Elniño took off from the petroleum factory and the brothers rode the plains bare. They chased everywhere: Paris to Amarillo, Austin to Wichita. Word spread quietly across tornado alley about the two in the porkpie hats who chased the wind.
Not too long ago, the Chase Brothers became more than a bit perturbed about waking up and flicking on the radio, only to find out that, once again, storms have been moving through at NIGHT. Desparation and SDS have hatched a brilliant and desparate plan in their minds.........they call it:
We, the Chase Brothers, have been pushed to the edge......the outer limits. Not only have we been fighting the usual off-season non-chasing blues, exacerbated by the unusually dry 1997 season, but now, to add insult to injury, mother nature dares to shift her seasons again, sweeping the southern states with tornado after tornado, cloaking them in the secrecy of nighttime, hiding them from those who would discover her secrets, tantalizing and teasing the chaser in us all. But the Chase Brothers have a dream, and we can't be caught, because we're on a mission from God!
Project VINCEX is an ambitious (some would say 'insane') project born in the minds of desperate men. In order to overcome the deadly combination of the devastating effects of Supercell Deprivation Syndrome (SDS) combined with the horridly tantalizing nighttime tornados, we must chase. Of course, one obvious barrier to chasing tornados at nighttime is the fact that..........well, you can't SEE them at night (an annoying detail to be sure). Punching the core at 7:00pm would not normally be a problem, but in January it's already pitch black in Texas and could result in damage to your chasemobile somewhat greater than marble-sized hail. The first time you would know anything was wrong was when you first realize that your speedometer reads 105 and yet there's a cow mooing right along side your passenger window. But desperate men come up with desperate measures to combat desperate situations.
After a divinely appointed visit to the Church of the Plains, Cape and Elniño were given a dream.....a vision if you will.....straight from the Old Testament. Just like the God of Israel had guided his children through the wilderness with a pillar of fire by night, the Chase Brothers would chase at night with an illumined sky. They hoped that, soon, other chasers would crawl out into the night, set free from the constraints of daylight, set free from the fear of driving into the jaws of an unseen F3. In addition to this vision imparted to them, the Chase Brothers got their big 'break' of inspiration recently from the wx-chase mailing list. What was, to most, a ridiculous scenario for *preventing* tornadoes (using fuel-air bombs dropped from planes) provided a firestorm of motivation to the Chase Brothers. Here is the Chase Brothers plan to 'light up the night.'
VINCEX - Vortex Illumination Nighttime Chasing EXperiment
It's a simple concept really. Chasing tornados at night requires only one basic ingredient that is missing, compared to daytime chasing.......LIGHT! Ah, but how would one accomplish this? We thought of using spotlights, either the handheld kind or the spotlights-on-wheels that come with a trailer hitch (you know, the kind that you drive to when you're bored, only to discover that they have attracted you to a late-night waterbed sale). A major limitation to this is, of course, that you actually have to get really REALLY close to the tornado to see it. Besides, it seemed selfish to us. Why keep all the fun to ourselves? So, we have come up with a way to enable all chasers within MILES to find and chase tornados at night. Here's the basic plan:
1) The Project VINCEX entourage heads off into the dusk. Aiming toward the nearest line of cells, guided by the latest Doppler printouts, as well as headlights, lightning and inflow debris, the VINCEX team fans out around a wall cloud visible in the CG.
2) As the funnel reaches the ground, the lead napalm tanker gets positioned in its path. Lead car drives up and retrieves tanker crew as soon as the lid has been opened.
3) After the tornado has reached the tanker and begun filling its debris wall with the first of the thousands of gallons of napalm it contains, T-REX 1 and T-REX 2 move into position. Both fire their SAM missles into the vortex, igniting the fuel contained therein.
4) At this point, things should begin to resemble your typical daytime storme chase. Videos rolling, cameras clicking (flash optional), chasers posing with nader in background, etc. Of course, there are a *few* differences, but we figure dodging the burning barn material falling out of the sky just adds an extra bit of excitement to the whole thing, especially since your Rain-X probably won't do too well w/ the oily rain.
Things are pretty much in the experimental stage right now, so if you have any suggestions (or any sources for CHEAP napalm) please contact us right away.....our sanity depends on it!!!